The Female Hustle

If you are a male and click on this post, thanks! If you are a female and saw this title, don't get too excited about "girl power". I want to talk about something in leadership that is known and unknown all at the same time. I like to call it the "female hustle".

Ever been in a room of leaders both male and female and noticed a difference in the approach, outlook, and demeanor of each person? I tend to find, with a room full of mostly male leaders and 1-2 females, there is a drastic difference in approach

Watch the mannerisms, the reactions, when it looks like someone wants to speak, how someone speaks, the language they use. Who is more aggressive? The male or the female? Who is more assertive? Often times it isn't the male... Female leaders, in my opinion attempt to over assert themselves in these situations.

Let me clarify, not all leaders are the same and not every female leader will do this, however there are a lot of female leaders that feel the need to prove they can "run with the boys." Here's something no girl wants to hear, but you can't and why would you?

• You aren't running with the boys, you're keeping pace with other leaders.

Did you catch the difference?

You are not running with the boys; you are keeping pace with other leaders.

The difference is that one is a team effort, made to encourage one another and see each other as a valued member, bringing different strengths, views, weaknesses, and opinions to the table. The other...is competition. Being wound up and on edge in leadership when gender is involved, is often the result of a need to prove something. The unfortunate thing about this? When you "puff up your chest" and "flex your muscles" you are likely to cause others to do the same...

Fundamentally, in many cases, men are "expected" from a young age, to not show weakness. Girls on the other hand are "expected" to make everyone happy and be perfect with no effort shown. These gender expectations can cloud our actions without us even realizing it. My advice. Acknowledge these things.

• Understand what biases you have and how the filters you look through change your actions. Once you acknowledge them, decide if this is a helpful or a counter-productive filter to have.

Doing this simple thing OFTEN, not just once, can mean a world of difference in the workplace and even in your homes. Check you intentions and filters often, before you get into a conflict. Especially if you are already in a conflict of a bad mood, check them and re-calibrate accordingly.

• What we bring to the table as a person is valuable, and our gender diversity is also valuable. Don't try to take that away by becoming something you are not.

Make sure you are intentional with your pursuit to discover you biases and filters unique to yourself. Reflect and assess yourself often and make sure you are being genuine and operating on how you were made, not someone else.

Keep becoming the person you were made to be!